is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
