My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
