Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
