Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
