I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
