She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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