U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
