Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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