I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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