Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Bring me that man meat
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
