A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dick very happy bro
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