Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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