He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
