hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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