Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize