At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
