So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
