If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
