i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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