dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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