I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize