So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
where am i from again
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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