I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
