she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
