Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
