Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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