i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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