did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
