I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
