He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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