She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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