discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
