if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
