i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
