Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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