I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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