So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is the high leading the old right now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize