Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My balls are so social today.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
