Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
