It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
