Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
