ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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