I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I bet he comes in French.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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