Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
