My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
