come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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