She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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