1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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