hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize