happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
