all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
