i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
