I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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