There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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