i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
