Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
