Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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