so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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