Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
