Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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