Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
