I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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