Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
