So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
