I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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