Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize