look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
